How to Break Bad Habits and Build Better Ones
Does this sound familiar? You’ve just finished dinner, or the kids are finally in bed, and without thinking, you’re mindlessly scrolling on your phone.
Hours slip by, and you’re left feeling frustrated, stuck in a cycle you can’t seem to break. Or maybe you’ve tried to build a positive habit like exercising or journaling, but no matter how much you want it, it just won’t stick.
Here’s the truth: it’s not about willpower. It’s the pattern that’s not working for you. When you’re trapped in the wrong cycle, it feels like change is impossible. But don’t worry, there is hope!
The Science of Habit Loops
Our brains are wired to save energy by automating tasks, which is where habits come in. Habits are built through a loop of three key elements:
Cue: A trigger that signals your brain to initiate a behavior. This could be an emotional state, a location, a time of day, or even a specific event.
Routine: The actual behavior or action you take.
Reward: The benefit or relief you get, satisfying a craving or meeting a need.
For example, let’s consider the habit of mindless scrolling. Almost every client I’ve worked with has wanted to tackle this alongside their main goals, and honestly, I’ve been there too!
The cue might be boredom or the end of a long day. The routine is reaching for your phone and scrolling through social media. The reward is temporary distraction or relief from stress.
Breaking Bad Habits the Right Way
The secret to breaking a bad habit isn’t just stopping it cold turkey, it’s about replacing it with a new, positive habit that provides the same reward. Think of it as forging a new path in your brain: instead of trying to block the well-worn trail, you create a better, more appealing one.
Let’s tackle mindless scrolling as an example (because let’s face it, we’ve all been there).
Step 1: Change the Cue
Identify what triggers your habit. Is it finishing dinner? Putting the kids to bed? Feeling bored or stressed?
Now, disrupt the cue. If you usually grab your phone after dinner, try putting it in another room. No visual cue = less temptation.
Pro Tip: Leave a visual cue for your new habit. For example, keep a book, journal, or hobby supplies in the spot where you’d normally scroll.
Step 2: Replace the Behavior
Find a positive action that satisfies the same craving or need. If you’re looking for distraction, grab a fun novel or turn on a podcast. If you need to decompress after a long day, try journaling or a quick meditation.
Step 3: Start SMALL
Don’t aim to quit your bad habit overnight. Start with small, manageable changes. For example, commit to two nights a week without scrolling and build momentum from there. Small wins build confidence and make it easier to stick to your new routine.
It’s Not About Willpower, It’s About Strategy
Breaking the cycle of bad habits isn’t a battle of willpower. It’s about understanding your brain’s patterns and using them to your advantage. With conscious practice and a clear strategy, you can create a new habit loop that feels natural and rewarding.
This is something I love educating my clients on & I love seeing their progress week after week.
Remember: every small step you take toward breaking a bad habit and building a positive one is progress. Be kind to yourself, and celebrate the wins along the way!
